


When all goes to hell(I'll still love you)

by TheAustralianClexian



Category: The 100
Genre: Abbey is a dick, Badass Clarke, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, and probably more to come as the story progresses, clarke has an encounter, starts out with a negative on the smut level
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-21 02:11:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6034144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAustralianClexian/pseuds/TheAustralianClexian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set one and a half years after Clarke runs away from Camp Jaha and is currently living with Lexa, the arkers believe her to be dead, boy are they in for a surprise.</p>
<p>But what happened when she left Camp Jaha, what will happen when Clarke is reunited with her mother, not even I know as I'm writing this as I go along. If your reading this your in for one hell of a ride... I hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter -1

A hooded figure dressed in dark clothing moved through the market district of Polis, the figure moved quickly and gracefully, not bumping into a single person, stalls or buildings. The figure navigated through the district at such a speed that would seem impossible for a crowded street. The figure stepped, twirled, jumped and did vertical rolls around the people that filled the district. The figure soon left and found the streets with a lot less people. The figure slowed it's pace, it was quicker however as she did not require to move around the crowd.

The figure came to a slowed halt as it approached a building built only for royalty. It was a grand two story mansion with weathered white walls, a luscious green garden filled with splotches of colour. It was a sight to behold and the figure was proud to say that it was home. The figure walked towards to front gate and was stopped by the call of a guard.

"Halt, who goes there." It was said more as a statement than a question. The guard approached her and stood in front of the entrance gate.

The figure moved its hands up to grab the hood and after a few moments pulled the hood back reveal a female face with eyes of the sky and golden hair that belonged to the sun. The guard paled and bowed to her.

"My deepest apologies, my Kwin," he said with a voice full of remorse, "I did not know it was you, again my deepest apologies."

"Please stand," the woman spoke, "I was hiding myself so I wouldn't cause a commotion in the market district," she gave the guard a small smile, "If even the Heda's guards didn't recognise me then it safe to say that it works." She smiled as the guard slowly raised his head, still being cautious for his earlier mistake.

"The Heda is currently out in a meeting with the coalition." The guard spoke again after regaining his posture, "she will be back in about one and a half candle sticks."

The woman gave the guard a bigger smile and thanked him as he opened the gate for her. She still wasn't used to having people bow down to her, but she wasn't as awkward about it as when she first arrived about a year and a half ago. She open the front door and was welcomed by a teenage looking girl dressed in a combination of black and white furs.

"Welcome home, my Kwin," the girl bowed in respect, "do you want me to prepare a bath, my Kwin?" She asked as she raised herself out of the bow.

"Yeah, I found a few dinza and got my self covered in blood," she began, "bathed in a river, but there is still much to remove, could you please have it prepared to wash my cloths?" She asked, not used to bossing people around either.

"It will be done as you have said, my Kwin." She bowed once more and moved out of the room to set the bath up. The bath would be ready in a quarter of a candle stick so she decided to head for the kitchen, "afternoon Asta," she greeted the man working in the kitchen, "do you have anything ready to eat at the get go?" Asta nodded, not a man of words but was someone you could confide in. He turned around and walked to a section of wall and popped it open with a push, he grabbed a piece of fruit, it was similar to an orange but was stripped with purple, and threw it to her. She caught the fruit and gave thanks to Asta, deciding the bath should be near ready by now she turned and made her way back through the entrance and was making her was to the bath when the entrance doors burst open and in stormed a young woman with brown hair and black face paint, they quickly locked eyes.

"Clarke!" The woman gave a shout and ran towards her, arms out wide to give a hug.

"Lexa!" The woman now know as Clarke shouted back, she embraced the other woman in a hug and was hugged back, "I was told you wouldn't be home for another candle stick and a quarter." She stated wondering why Lexa was home so early. "The clan leaders got into another argument," she frowned and pulled back a little so that they could make eye contact, "the Skaikru are slowly encroaching in on Polis," Lexa began, "from what the scout overheard they all think your dead besides the one they Belomi," Lexa paused to stare into her own eyes before continuing, "Clarke, we're gonna have to tell your people at some point and it probably going to be soon." Lexa sighed.

"Lexa, hey," she started, staring into Lexa's eyes, "it was bound to happen soon," she leaned in and gave Lexa a quick chaste kiss, she wanted to make it deeper, "but, I am covered in dinza blood and am in desperate need of a bath." She let go of Lexa, wanting to just hug her again. Lexa let her go soon after giving her another squeeze, "hunting dinza is the worst." Lexa agreed. "Don't worry, I'll be half a candle stick at most," she said, "or you can join me at a quarter stick and wash my hair?" Lexa quickly mumbled her agreement before leaning in and giving her a kiss on the cheek and walked off to the kitchen.

Clarke let out a moan as she put a foot into the warm water, it was perfect, she followed with her other foot and soon lowered body into the water, she started scrubbing at her skin until the blood was gone and washed her face, she put her head against the edge of the bath and drifted into thought.

_//FLASHBACK//_

_She had just left Camp Jaha and moving through the woods without a particular destination in mind, she walked during the day picking berries and nuts off the fauna she passed, ate when her stomach growled and slept when the sun set. The days had blended and she lost track if time when she began to crave meat and she couldn't shoot the damn animals cause she had thrown her gun into a river in a fit of anger, she regretted doing that the moment she heard the plop of the gun hitting the water. It was another few days before she came across a tree would suit her purposes, it was a thin tree that shot straight up for a few meters before it started spouting branches. She snapped the tree in two places and got herself a pole with broken ends, she moved around the area looking for a rock with a flat but rough face._

_Once she located the rock she sat down with her pile of berries and set of to work. She started by rubbing one end of the pole against the rock till it was flat and ran perpendicular to the rest of the pole. After eating and letting her arms relax she started on the other side but instead flattened it on a steep angle so it became a point. She was proud and confident with her newly made weapon. The spear._

_That confidence soon faded when she tried hunting something, the grounders made it look so simple. She found a deer and tried to approach it but the dear had heard her and ran off before she could even raise her arm to throw the spear. She tried a different approach the next time she came across one of the creatures, she walked slowly from down wind and attempted to throw the spear from further away confident she could make it, that confidence didn't last long as the spear wobbled in the air and landed about 20 yards behind the deer and scared it off. She retrieved the spear and set off the look for berries instead of wasting her energy._

_//PRESENT//_

Clarke was startled out of her thoughts when she felt a hand on her scalp. She soon relaxed when she looked into deep green eyes. Her face softened when she heard a soft giggle, this was a side of the commander that only she has witnessed, "what were you thinking about, my Kwin?" Lexa asks, her voice seeming to always make her title seductive. "When I left Camp Jaha and was wondering the woods for the first few months." She replied and noticed the green eyes hollow for a moment as she felt Lexa's hands start to trace some of the scars on her skin. "It's okay, Lex," she said trying to sooth the woman, "I'm here now and I'm safe." She would have kissed Lexa if not for the fact she was in a bath and the awkward angle between her own lips and Lexa's.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner." Lexa began but was soon hushed by Clarke. The two fell into silence as Lexa began to work with her hair, removing all the little bits of blood Clarke had missed, she began humming as Lexa played with her hair. She hummed every time Lexa washes her hair, Lexa's fingers giving her scalp a massage and it was one of live's moments that were always worth living for. The massage stopped as Lexa began to braid her hair. The unique braids that only she could wear, as Lexa's wife and as the kwin of the trikru, of Lexa's people, of their people.

Once Lexa had finished braiding her hair she had leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and whispered seductive words about waiting in their bed for her. She soaked in the water for a few minutes more before forcing her body out of the relaxing waters with an even greater moment in her mind. She opened the door to the changing room and found the clothes that had been prepared. A loose sleeveless shirt and some loose shorts, both made from high quality materials. She made her way up to the room she shared with Lexa. She slowly opened the door and stuck her head in, and saw the most adorable Heda in sleeping clothes spread out over the bed grinning at her. She pulled the rest of her body through the door and closed it gently behind her. She slowly approached the bed, step by step until she reached the base, she raised her leg so her knee was just above the bed and leaned forward so she was on all fours and was slowly crawling to Lexa.

She soon had a leg on either side of the brunette's hips and their faces were just inches apart. She leaned down and kissed Lexa, the kiss was sweet and chaste, it was, Lexa quickly leaned into the kiss just as soon as it started, her tongue slipping into Lexa's mouth, eager to explore. A moan escaped Lexa's lips, she pulled away but not for long before she started kissing down Lexa's jaw line into her neck, biting and nibbling along the way. She buried her face into the nook of Lexa's neck and started to kiss and suck on it, intending to leave a mark on her skin, "Clarke..." Lexa moaned as Clarke started to move from her neck down her chest.


	2. Chapter -2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion, if you can call it that

The furs were cold when she woke and a noticeable presence was gone. She woke up to herself, Lexa had probably left early to talk with the clan leaders. She let out a sigh, of all things, waking up alone was one thing she hated the most. She laid there for a few moments more just staring at the ceiling of their room wondering where she was, probably with the clan leaders talking about the skaikru.

She got out of bed when the furs truly grew cold and they no longer provided comfort. She left the room, still dressed in her sleeping wear. She soon rounded a corner into the kitchen and found the ever present Asta and a hot meal waiting for her.

"Thanks," she mumbled, "have you seen Lexa?" She asked, if anyone saw her it would be Asta. He gave a small nod, "half a stick ago" it was all he needed to say. Lexa had left half a candle stick ago, or as a skaikru would say, half an hour. She let out a small groan, and sat down to eat her meal.

It wasn't long before she was bright and happy again, Ata's food was just that good, it was heaven on earth and the next best thing in existence, second to Lexa. She finished the meal and gave her thanks to Asta before heading back up to her room to get into some training gear. She opened her wardrobe and started shuffling through the cloths, she found the black garbs she had worn yesterday but passed them over until she found what she was looking for. Fur's of different shades of green and grey, they were worn and had several fixed patches but they were comfortable.

After changing out of her sleeping clothes into her training gear she left the house and headed towards the training field. As she walked through the districts, people moved out of her way and bowed with the words "my Kwin". Some of the children ran up to her, she hugged them and set them off again, some tried to give her items, she refused them saying she haven't done anything to deserve it, but to them she was a hero, she brought down the mountain and freed their people.

She soon reached the training ground after getting past the most crowded districts. She saw Indra watching over a training spar to make sure that no permanent damage was done to either participants. She could tell that the two fighting were honoured by Indra watching them. Indra was the strongest of the Heda's generals and she was respected and feared, and rightly so. She walked over to the weapons rack and picked up two daggers and two short swords built for training before she approached Indra.

"Wanna train?" She asked in a manner that only she could get away with. Indra just glared at her, "why would I want to do that?" She growled, but despite that she knew that it was all in good humour. "You know, to fight" was all she said and Indra growled more and she knew what was coming next.

She quickly pulled the dagger from her hip to block Indra's sword and a loud clang rang throughout the training ground, the two that were sparring earlier stopped to look at them. "That wasn't too hard now, was it?" She taunted and it served it's purpose. Indra's face distorted even more as she attempted to attack again, she ducked and avoided the blow.

Indra was swinging her sword methodically and gracefully. Her swings were sharp and precise but filled with power and she was always in a stance whenever possible. She was the perfect warrior so to speak, she was the opposite of Clarke.

Clarke swung her sword wildly but with pin-point accuracy and her power coming from the speed of the attack, she didn't have an attack pattern, her movements being decisions based on what her senses told her.

Experience wise she would always lose to Indra, there were but few things she could beat Indra in, her speed and flexibility being just that, and it wasn't that it just beat Indra, but it was ridiculously stupid to the degree that she was able to move about. She could run through tree tops like she was running on flat, even ground and could run on the ground like friction wasn't a thing. But her lack of experience always caught up to her, she would circle around and bring the training dagger down upon Indra only to have her attack redirected. Their battle would usually be a stalemate for a full candle stick before Indra started tiring, stamina being the only other thing she could claim to better at than Indra.

Indra swung her sword aiming for her neck, she ducked and rolled towards Indra before off stepping to the side and aimed a punch at Indra's hip. It connected, She then followed up by brining a dagger straight up with her left hand until it connected with Indra's chin, knocking her head back and off setting her balance. She quickly extended her left leg and in the process brought her knee in behind Indra's. Indra's leg gave way and she buckled, landing on her back. Taking the opportunity, she swung her left hand back down so the dagger was against her neck and she placed a knee on Indra's chest.

"I win" she claimed and smiled, Indra smiled back. "You have improved, Skai Prisa" Indra was the only one that still called her that. She didn't mind, it was something between them. She got off Indra, and offered the warrior a hand. The warrior took it with a firm hand, "want something to drink?" Their fight was shorter than most, by about a quarter candle stick, but both were exhausted. "I brought some herbs, I can cook us a great tasting tea that helps with exhaustion?" She offered. "What ever you say, Skai Prisa."

By the time Clarke had finished training the sun was right above them and it was about time for the hunting party to set out to get animals for dinner. Clarke set off from the field and ran towards the mansion that was her house, the crowd parted as she jogged through the more crowded districts, but none stopped to offer her items.

She soon reached the house, she rushed past the guards through the front door and went straight to her room, she quickly changed out of her training gear and grabbed the hooded black gear that she was wearing yesterday. She walked further into the wardrobe and equipped her weapons. She slid knifes into her boots, strapped a total of four knifes to her legs and two knifes to her forearms. She pulled out two short swords and attached them to her so they made an x across her lower back and to finish off she grabbed a quiver full of arrows and slung it over her shoulder so the arrows were sticking out over her shoulder. She grabbed her bow and moved into the washroom. She placed the bow down and eyed her blonde hair, it would give her away to her prey. She reached into a cabinet and pulled out a vial of red dye and ran it through her hair. Her bright blonde hair was now a deep red. She pulled the hood over her head and left the building.

"My Kwin" the hunting party all mumbled at once as she approached. She really didn't like them doing this. She was friends with all of them. "Please stop calling me your Kwin," she said as she continued to walk towards them, "you are my friends and it makes things awkward when you call me that, treat me as you would treat each other" she finished hoping to get her point across only to have the joker of the group turn to his friends and bow, "my kwins" he said and everyone tried not to laugh as her face soured.

The party set off into the woods, splitting into groups of two. Clarke found herself paired Kaiz, an old hunter, not the fastest but he more than makes up for that with experience. As soon as they entered the forest she jumped up the nearest tree while Kaiz started tracking any nearby animals. It was only a few moments before Kaiz had found a fresh pair of tracks, "found a pair, probably a mother and her young, they look to be wolfs." Kaiz looked up from the ground and started to grow panicky when he couldn't find her, "above you Kaiz" she spoke and moved around on her branch and gave Kaiz a smile when he saw her, "you follow the tracks, I'll follow you in the trees" she spoke and Kaiz just nodded, never having been her parter he was probably thinking something along the lines of that's impossible, but he just started following the tracks.

The best part about hunting, she thought, is the manoeuvring. She was about 17meters above the ground with a bow in hand moving about from branch to branch, sometimes she was jumping, other times she leisurely walking around, and one more than one occasion Kaiz looked into the tree tops to observe her moving about, the first few times he had a look of disbelief, but by soon he was looking and observing out of curiosity.

About half a stick into the hunt Kaiz stopped walking and gestured forward. She looked up and saw a mother and her cub drinking at a shallow creek. The cub was nestled against it's mother. She knocked an arrow and aimed at the mother. She let the bowstring slide off her fingers and a bang resounded throughout the forest, a gun was fired.

The wolf startled by the bang shifted and the arrow lodged itself in the front arm missing it's mark but still hitting. The wolf ran while it's cub ran off in a different direction. "I'll chase it, you follow up behind" she yelled and ran through the tree tops after the wolf before Kaiz could even nod his agreement.

The wolf had run the fair bit of distance, considering the arrow in one of its legs. She was in running in the tree tops following the trail of blood that had been left behind. She had ran for a while before she saw the wolf, laying on its side barely alive. She felt sorry for the animal. She jumped down from the trees and landed without making a sound. She stood up straight and walked towards the wolf. She stood beside the wolf's head, she took a knee and pulled a dagger from her thigh. "Yu gonplei ste odon" she whispered to the wolf and put the dagger into it's head.

"Where is she?"

She felt the push of a gun barrel to the back of her head. "Where is she?" The voice repeated, it was deep and raspy. "Bellamy," she heard a female voice caution. So the person who was holding a gun to the back of her head was Bellamy. Bellamy, the one who was constantly looking out for her, was now holding a gun to the back of her head. "Where is Clarke?" He spoke again, "answer me or I'll shoot."

"I have not seen her" she answered back in trigdasleng hoping to gain a few moments to think things through. It worked, sort of. Bellamy was confused but Octavia quickly translated for him. "I know your lying" he spat at her, "you have her".

"I have not seen her, I speak true" she spoke to him yet again in trigdasleng.

"Let our Kwin go!" She heard Kaiz speak. She heard Octavia mumble something to someone else she assumed was Lincoln. "Bellamy," Octavia began, "if what he says is true then the person your holding a gun to is the queen of the 12 clans," she paused, hesitant of saying her name, "she's Lexa's wife". She could here Bellamy gulp and used that moment of nervousness to strike.

She spun around and grabbed his wrist and pushed it so his hand and subsequently the gun pointed into the empty forest. She pulled on his wrist at the same moment she punched him in the stomach and flipped him over her head. He landed with a dull thud next to the wolf. She grabbed the gun and threw it into the forest before she spoke. "You are too far away from the ark. Since the treaty is no more you are not allowed on our territory. If you proceed to come any closer you will meet trikru warriors and hunters ready to take your life." She paused, letting the information set in before she spoke again, "and if you ever wish to see Clarke again, you will never attempt what you just did." Bellamy just looked at her wide eyed at what she said. She went over to the wolf, picked it up and walked back towards Polis with Kaiz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Yu gonplei Ste odon' - if you don't know what this means you shouldn't be in the 100 fandom. But it means 'your fight is over'


	3. Chapter -3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !PLEASE READ!
> 
> First of all, thanks for the support. But I'm still finding my writing style so the next few chapter's are going to be written messily. But I promise to get it sorted out.

The walk back to Polis was a quite one, neither wanting to break the silence. She walked on the ground next to Kaiz, she wasn't enjoying the tree tops. Of course she wouldn't. She just beat up a guy that went through hell with her, then she threatened him. The worst part however was the fact that she told him Clarke was alive. They didn't recognise her with her hair red and hood. But she told Bellamy she was alive, 'and if you ever wish to see Clarke again you will never attempt what you just did'. Now there was no doubt that the skaikru would do something stupid. As soon as the walls were within sight she gave the wolf to Kaiz and ran off to find Lexa.

Her feet barely hit the ground as she ran and her strides were long. She was running as fast as she could. The guards raised their weapons as she approached, she was still wearing the hood so she put her hands up to her face and removed it. The guards nodded and lowered their weapons and let her through. Once she was inside the walls she ran to the nearest building, a small house, but instead of slowing down, she kept a constant pace and when she judged the timing was right, she jump. She was a few yards above the ground when she felt the building. She grabbed the roof and effortlessly flung herself onto the roof.

She gave a look back as saw a few of the guards ginning at her. She turned and ran towards her target, the meeting room. The further she ran along the rooftops the harder it seemed it get. The rooftops got more complicated with holes, slants, chimneys and self made renovations. She leapt across alleyways and roads to reach her goal, to warn Lexa about how idiotic the skaikru are.

\-------------------

Abby was in the council room arguing with council member Kane about food production and hunting. He wanted to stay close to the ark, not to venture to deep into grounder territory. "If we don't expand Kane, we won't be able to support ourselves." She stated, she'd lost her daughter to the grounders, she didn't want to abide by their rules. "Abby," he began, "if we venture too deep into their territory they may retaliate."

She was about to respond when Bellamy came crashing through the door. "She's alive" he said, Kane looked at him, "who's alive?" Bellamy's answer came almost immediately, "Clarke," he paused. "We saw a grounder, we went to attack her," he took in a deep breath, breathed out and straightened his back before continuing, "it turns out she was Lexa's wife, she wore a hood and had red hair, but she beat me and said that if we want to see Clarke again we wouldn't attack them."

"Bellamy, grab guards and guns," she said, "we're getting my daughter"

\-------------------

She arrived and was just outside of the meeting room, "I need to speak with Heda" she spoke to the guard, he was hesitant but finally gave a nod. When she walked in all twelve clan leaders were arguing about something, she heard something about trade and then something about a prisoner and she saw one clan leader wink seductively at another, it was pure chaos. No wonder Lexa came home angry.

"Klark," Lexa spoke and the room tuned deathly quite, all the clan leaders tuned to look at her. "What have you come here for?" She gulped.

"I was hunting with Kaiz," she started, a few leaders wanted to protest to her story,"couldn't have been more than 20 miles out of Polis." She paused, "I encountered skaikru. They are getting close to Polis, so I told them that if they get any closer that they would meet resistance. And I also accidentally implied that I was here." She gulped, the tension in the room could kill, "I expect them to march here with guards and guns, ready to shoot, and demand me back."

The clan leaders were silent, no one dared to speak, no one dared to move.

Ultimately she was the one to break the silence. "When they come here I want to meet them," she spoke carefully, judging their reactions, "not as Clarke kom skaikru, but as the Kwin," speaking so that Lexa didn't think she would leave, "when I fought with them I was wearing my hunting gear and my hair was dyed red, they shouldn't recognise me." She was walking on thin ice, "besides, I know how they think, how they'll react. I know their secrets, their weaknesses." She stated hoping they'd allow her. "Besides, I'm not going back with them, just the quicker this is over the sooner we won't have to worry about them."

When she finished they all started arguing. Most agreeing with her, others were still unsure. Lexa just looked at her.

"Enough" Lexa said her voice silencing everyone, "you shall meet with your mother, but your hair shall be dyed and you will wear warpaint. If anything should arise from the meeting, we will discuss it then, but should they kill one of us. Jus drein, jus daun." And with that the council meeting ended. The clan leaders left and headed off to their respective home, accompanied by guards. "Klark," Lexa began, "what are you thinking?". "Exactly what I just said, and if things go bad, I'm gonna need to make an appearance at the ark." Lexa froze.

"Don't worry, Leksa, I'll go there and say that I'm alive, maybe have a few drinks, then leave again." She said, trying to unfreeze Lexa. "You can come with me, assign guards to me, you can do what ever you want" she said, "but I will always return to your side." It was faint but she could see the blush creep up on Lexa's face. "But enough politics Lexa, let's go" she said, she wanted to walk around polis with her. It was one of her favourite things to see Lexa play with the children. "Sure" Lexa replied.

They left the tent and Clarke headed towards the market district. They walked in silence. It wasn't the usual comfortable silence, it was a tense silence with a question hanging unasked in the air. "What is it" she spoke, breaking the silence. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Lexa asked back a bit hesitantly. "I was the one who suggested it, you know that right?"

"Yeah, but you could have said that out of a feeling of obligation because you were their leader." Lexa stated calmly, but she had hit the nail on the head, found that needle in the haystack. If she had it her way, she would never have to see them again, but she knew it, she was gonna have to talk to them eventually. "Bingo," she dragging out the o, "I don't want to talk to them, but it is gonna have to happen eventually, much rather do it now I guess."

"Klark." Lexa turned her head to look at her, "what does bingo mean"

Left field! She looked at Lexa, shock evident in her facial expression. "You've never heard of bingo?" She almost yelled, Lexa just shook her head. "Well, umm, let's see," she began, "it's a game based on luck, and when you get everything correct you yell bingo." She explained, but the confusion stayed on Lexa's face. "Then why did you say bingo? We're not playing it are we?".

"No Leksa, we're not playing it. When someone says it in conversation it usually means that someone has guessed correctly."

"I see" was all Lexa replied with. "You not going to try and convince me to not talk with them?" She asked, wondering my Lexa didn't bring it up. "Did you want me to?" Lexa asked as she turned to look in front of them. "No, I just thought you would, that's all".

"I respect your decisions Klark, and I understand that pushing a problem away every time it comes up just makes it so much worse to deal with when you finally have to." Lexa spoke, the fact she believed in what she was doing was comforting. "Come on, let's go" she said and pulled on Lexa's hand.

They moved through the market district where she stopped to grab some food and sketching supplies. They moved all around Polis, forgetting the problem about the skaikru, all shall be solved tomorrow. They walked for a bit more until they came across a group of kids playing maounon, a game based on what happened at the mountain. "Go" she said and gave Lexa a light shove, "go play with your people" she laughed when Lexa gave her a glare but walked towards the children. She looked around a found a nearby ledge to sit on. She walked over and pulled out the sketching equipment she bought earlier.

She looked at Lexa playing with the children and looked back to her canvas. It started with the charcoal twitching above the canvas before it made contact. At first it was just a bunch of lines, none connecting. The first thing to appear was the grass, long and flowing, followed by several small children, running about with big grins plastered on their face, dancing and running around their Heda. Lexa was soon added to the portrait, long hair flowing with the wind and grass, eyes full of happiness, a smirk on her lips while she swung around a stick with the kids. There were some adults in the background watching their children, smiling to the other adults. It was beautiful and full of life, this was the Lexa she married. The Lexa that smiled as she played with kids.

It was long past dark when the adults had to separate the kids to bring them food and get them to sleep. "I love you" she said as Lexa approached, small beads of sweat dripping down her face, "let's get to bed," she paused before adding, "tomorrows going to be a big day" Lexa just nodded in agreement.

They walked in silence on the way home. Both looking forward to the sleep but not wanting it to bring tomorrow. "Do you want to hang that up somewhere?" Lexa looked towards the sketch before meeting Clarke's eyes. She just shrugged, "you can do what you want with it Leksa" she said, "we could hang it in our room?" She suggested after getting a blank look from Lexa. "I think that that's a good idea," Lexa agreed, "shall we put it above the head of the bed?" And like that they talked until they reached their house.

They walked by the kitchen and found two hot meals waiting for them and Asta was nowhere to be seen. They sat down and ate. Eating Atsa's food with Lexa was defiantly one of the best things that could ever happen, besides a few bed activities.

After dinner was finished they walked to their room, no one but them inside their house. They reached the room and Lexa snatched the sketch and bounded to the bed and then she stood at the head of it finding the right place to hang it. She just stood their and watched the strong commander with a stone cold face fidget with where to hang a painting. Once she found the right place she looked proud of herself and walked back it Clarke's side. "It beautiful" Lexa claimed and kissed her cheek, it was just a light brush of her lips but it made her shudder, "your beautiful" Lexa whispered into her ears and went into the wardrobe to change, she followed suit.

They were both Laying on top of their bed after a bedtime activity, both were breathing heavily and were wrapped in each other's limbs, "goodnight, Klark" Lexa whispered between heavy pants. "Goodnight, Leksa."


	4. Chapter -4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It happenes, a nightmare, Clarke gets dressed and Abby marches.

_It was dark despite being daytime and the rope has rubbed away the skin on her wrists, she could feel the blood slowly covering her hands. She had been walking for days, they had let her rest and sleep, but they never took the hood. Her feet were blistering and objects had impaled themselves in her, each step was like walking on syringes. Her legs were burning, muscles sore from constant overuse and covered in cuts and scratches, inflicted from the trees and her captors._

_The gravel gave way under her foot, her leg gave way and she collided with the ground, she felt a rib break and her hip collided with a rock, she groaned and rolled onto her back. "Get up" a raspy voice spoke to her and she felt a tug on the rope, causing more blood to flow from her wrists. A groan escaped her lips when she felt her captor tug on the rope again. Her body wouldn't move. Even if she wanted to get up, she couldn't. They had let her sleep and rest, but they didn't feed her. She was malnourished and her body ached._

_"get up" the voice rasped again and the tug on the rope got stronger. Her voice betrayed her as she let out a small whimper. The blood continued to flow from her wrists, and a small amount was dribbling from the corner of her mouth. Her body tensed when she felt the cold metal of a knife pressed against her lower stomach, threatening to break the surface of her skin. "Get up" the voice spoke slow, deep and raspy. The dagger pressed down and started to slice her open, a hoarse cry, her throat dry and stinging._

_The dagger slowly moved from one side of her lower stomach, digging deeper every inch it moved. It dug deeper and deeper, till it was no longer just cutting her skin, but slicing her insides as well. Her cry continued even after the knife was remove till it was no longer a cry, but just a raspy, painful breath. "Get up" the voice commanded again, putting the knife to a different part of her stomach. "We can't have you dying yet, Wanheda." The voice pushed the knife into her stomach, she couldn't cry this time, her voice was too broken, but the tears fell. The knife cut deeper into her the further it moved across. Her tears were silent, but she knew the owner of the voice could see them._

_"You're a stubborn one, Wanheda" the voice croaked. She heard the air move before she felt it. A fist hit her square in the face, shoving it backwards into a rock, the pain was sudden and immense, she tried to cry, but nothing would come out except small sharp gasps. "You really are stubborn" the amusement lined his voice. The fist came down again, hitting her in the temple, the blackness came, but it didn't take it hold and her gasps for breath. The fist came again, and so did the blackness. It took hold and all her thoughts and pain just slipped away._

"Klark!" She woke to Lexa shaking her awake, "shh, Klark, it was just a dream. It was just a dream Klark." She stared at Lexa when she noticed her cheeks were wet, she had been crying in her sleep. She lifted her arms to wrap Lexa in a hug, to giver her words of comfort, say she was okay, but when Lexa wrapped her in her arms, the cries came out. She cried for the children in the mountain, she cried for the children that were given to her, she cried because of what happened in he forest, she cried because she was about to meet her mother and everything would soon come crashing down. She cried because Lexa couldn't, she cried for herself. She just cried.

When she finally stopped crying there were only a few hours till the sun rose and she could't sleep. She was snuggled up in Lexa's arms, her legs entwined with Lexa's. She closed her eyes and pushed her head further into Lexa's chest and let out a small sigh at the comfort that came along with the action. She couldn't help the purr that rippled up from her stomach when she felt Lexa tighten her arms around her. She was safe, comfortable and Lexa was here, that was all that mattered. She didn't need her mother, or the other skaikru. All she needed was Lexa, this is where she belonged. She closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift.

It had only felt like moments when the sun broke through the window and she had to pull herself from Lexa's arms. "Klark..." She heard Lexa moan and the arms tighten around her, she hugged the woman back before she lifted her head up and nibbled Lexa's earlobe. She pulled back and saw the green eyes staring at her, "good, you're awake now." She teased and Lexa's look turned into a glare. "Klark. If you did that just to wake me up. " she began but trailed off as her eyes flicked onto her lips. Lexa leaned forward and pressed her lips onto her own. The kiss quickly deepened as she pushed back into it. Their tongues entwined and electricity coursing through their body.

"Leska..." She groaned, she knew she had to pull away, she needed to get ready and she wasn't sure when her mother would arrive. "Klark" Lexa replied, "just a bit longer" and she was attempted to give in, to just melt and not leave the room for the rest of the day, but she could't, not with her mother looming over her. She had put a bit more effort into pushing herself away before Lexa finally let her. "I'm sorry Leska, but I needed to get ready for when they arrive, and it could be at any moment." She spoke softly while she ran her hands up Lexa's and traced small circles. "When this is over I'll do whatever you want for a week" she promised and saw a small glint of mischievousness in Lexa's eyes.

When Lexa finally let her go she couldn't help but shiver at the lack of contact. Lexa just smirked at her when she noticed. She quickly got out of bed and made her way to the wash room. She opened the cabinets and looked for the vial that contained the red dye. It was in the front as it as used regularly when she went out hunting. She grabbed the vial and put it down next to the basin, well, a rock that holds water, and filled it with warm water before adding a dash of the vial. The droplets hit the water and started creating art before she gave it a swirl, forcing the water and dye to combine. The water was a deep, dark red when it had finally settled.

She grabbed her hair so it was all flowing down her back and leaned backwards so that her hair would lower into the red water, a small sigh escaping her as she felt the warm water on her scalp. She let her hair soak for a few more minutes, to let the dye truly settle in her hair so it wouldn't come out as easily. A few moments passed before she removed her hair and let it air dry. The air drying was the longest, but after that was complete she grabbed the nearest hair brush and started to work on straightening her hair. There were knots and tangles and bits of hair stuck together, but once she was done, she no longer saw the blond hair but the deep red hair she knew Lexa secretly loved.

After she had sorted out her hair she moved into the wardrobe and started sorting through the clothes to find the pair she was looking for. She soon found her hunting gear that she was wearing when she fought Bellamy. It consisted of a pair of pitch black fur pants that fit snugly against her legs yet didn't hinder her mobility, A dark undershirt which seemed made to fit to her body and a fur jacket with a large hood, designed to help hide her blonde hair, now turned red. She has to admit it does suit her, the clothes were ultimately a gift from Lexa when she went out on her first hunt. Despite Lexa's role as Heda, she was surprisingly good at fashion and looking good.

Once she is ready she goes down stairs to find Lexa with Asta. "Klark," Lexa groans, "you finally came down. Now I can eat". She laughs at the thought of Lexa waiting for her while her stomach grumbles. Asta comes back with food, no one noticed he'd even left, but that's Asta. They ate their meals in silence, enjoying the others presence along with the food. She finishes the last bit of food on her plate, "shall we apply our war paint?" Lexa smirks and give a small nod to show her agreement. They made their way upstairs and into the washroom. Lexa opens a cabinet and pulls out a jar of a black goo like substance and dips her fingers in it. "Ready" Lexa whispers and puts her fingers to her face after she gave Lexa a nod. Her war paint and Lexa's are very similar, but where Lexa had three stripes travelling down her face, she only had one.

It was about half a candle stick later when a knock was heard, "enter" Lexa gave the simple command with such authority and dignity that made Clarke wonder how she did it. The door opened and a guard stepped in, obviously nervous. "Heda, Kwin," he bowed to them before continuing, "there are skaikru at the gates demanding to talk to you" he spoke slowly and stuttered a few times, it was obvious that he was new to his job. "Thank you," Lexa spoke, "Tell them we will be there in a few moments." The guard nodded and left, closing the door behind him, Lexa turned to face her, "are you sure you want to do this?" She asked, not wanting to put Clarke in a situation she didn't want to find herself in. "I'll be fine" she responded before she stood to leave the room with Lexa.

The walk through Polis was eerily quite, the people all moved out of their way, and everyone grew quite and the sight of them both with warpaint on. The walk was strangely quick, for a walk to a destination she dreading. When they finally arrived at the gate all the guards dropped to a knee and murmured their titles. "Rise" she spoke, wanting to get this out of the way. The guards rose and bustled with activity as they prepared to lower the bridge. Once the bridge was lowered she looked towards Lexa for comfort and found the girl looking back at her. They gave each other a small nod before she pulled up her hood and walked passed the bridge to the other side where they were met with the skaikru.

The skaikru team consisted of Abby, Kane, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, Monty and twelve guards with assault rifles trained on them. "Abby," Lexa spoke, almost unfazed by the assault rifles, "what brings you to Polis?" Abby glared at Lexa, she looked Lexa up and down before the glare shifted to her.

"where is my daughter"


	5. Chapter -5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth about Abby, and Bellamy gets his ass handed to him by Clarke again

"Your daughter is not here Abby" Lexa lied but still kept a stoic face. Bellamy stepped forward, "She wasn't talking to you, Heda." The title dripped off of his mouth like venom from a snake's fang. "She," he gestured towards herself, "she' she one that told us that was still alive and that she had control over wether Clarke can come home or not." He was now glaring at her. "Show us to Clarke," his voice was low yet loud as he tried to order her. "Unfortunately, she doesn't want to see you." She spoke and a few guards turned their guns from Lexa to her. "Clarke is not being held prisoner, if that is what you came to confirm, she is free to leave as she sees fit. The reason as to why she hasn't visited the ark is most likely because she doesn't want to" she spoke calmly trying to keep the agitation out of her voice.

"You lie!" Bellamy spat, he raised his gun at aimed at her but he kept his distance, learning from his previous mistakes. The trikru guards all raised their weapons, all of them pointed at Bellamy, "you would do well to lower your weapon" Lexa said with her voice calm, but there was a hint of anger in her eyes, "or else you'll end up with an arrow in your chest." Bellamy sent a glare at her before he lowered his weapon, "I wish to speak with Clarke." He stated while looking her dead in the eye. "Then we have a problem, because we respect Clarke's wishes more than yours and she doesn't wish to speak to you" she looked straight into his eyes, this was turning into a game of round robin.

"We can talk to Clarke and try and talk her into visiting the ark, but we won't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do" Lexa interrupted the back and forth niggling. "How do we know your not holding her prisoner and just saying that she doesn't want to speak with us?" Abby spoke up, she was getting anxious. "Because I am Heda and the Heda does not need to lie, unlike the skaikru." Lexa managed to insult the skaikru while answering, it would have been a funny sight if Bellamy didn't raise his gun and point it towards Lexa's head. She leapt forward before he could do anything stupid and grabbed his wrist with her left hand and tugged it while she pivoted on her foot and dug her elbow into the back of Bellamy's head. A loud crack echoed around in the silence and she felt Bellamy fall forward. She dropped him and calmly returned to Lexa's side, slightly surprised that no one had open fired on her.

What she turn back to was that all eyes were on her, the guards and Monty just had a look of shock and surprise while Abby had a look of fear, Octavia was pissed, probably for knocking her brother unconscious, Lincoln looked at her with respect and Kane finally broke his silence. "We are sorry for coming here and threatening the Heda," he chose his words carefully in order to avoid more conflict, "we thought Clarke was dead, so when your Kwin told us that it was possible to see her again..." He slowly stopped talking and looked down. He was sincere in that he wanted to meet Clarke, but not if it meant another war. He looked up again, "has she said why she doesn't want to see us?" It was obvious to whoever was watching that Kane was the peace maker of the group. She sighed before she looked him in the eye, "she still suffers from night terrors," she began and then looked at Abby, "they have been getting better, but she doesn't want to see you because she fears it will trigger them again."

"How do we know this is the truth" Abby snapped before Kane could settle things, she looked down at Bellamy, no one had tried to help him. "Because we want her to recover as quickly as she can, but mental injuries can take years before they fully heal" Lexa said and impassively looked at Abby, "allow me to see her and I can help her," the irritation in her voice was as obvious as a great tree in a grass field. "We will talk to her and see if she wants to talk to you" she spoke again trying to stop them from storming the city. "No" Abby spoke and the guards all raised their guns, each one on a different trikru member, "we will see my daughter now" Abby was using her chancellor voice, a voice that demanded respect on the ark, but among grounders was weak and wasn't considered the voice of a leader. She turned to Lexa, and whispered so only she could hear her, "let me handle this, get the guards to stand down but ready to attack on my signal" Lexa just gave a small nod.

She gave the guards the signal to stand down, "please have your guards stand down, you will be walking through public streets, we do not wish to cause public unrest." Her voice was cool, calm and collected. When Abby didn't give the command however she was slightly annoyed, "we won't be able to let you in if you won't stand you guards down, I have made our guards stand down." Abby reluctantly had her guards stand down, "thank you, follow me" she said and turned on her heels, she heard Abby say something about having a few guards carry Bellamy. She guided them through the gate and turned right into an almost empty road, "I thought you said we will be going through crowded streets?" Abby spoke, her suspicion was well placed. "Our people will panic at your guards, so I'm taking as many empty streets as possible, the closer we get the Clarke the more crowded the streets will be, I had you stand your guards down because I am unsure of when we will encounter my people" she stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

they were a few more streets down when she stopped and turned to face the skaikru. She gave a small nod to Lexa who ordered the guards to attack, they came down from the rooftops and from around corners. They quickly took out the guards first, not even one managed to get a single shot out before all of them were fallen, none were dead, just unconscious. "What is the meaning of this!" Abby demanded as if they were forced to tell her. "We do not have to tell you, but it should be obvious. You came to our city and threatened peace to meet a person who does not want to see you" she spoke, only the guards had been knocked out, the rest were surrounded and had their weapons removed. "Don't worry Abby, we won't kill you like our laws demand, but the next time you try something like this you will pay the price" Lexa spoke slowly, letting each word sink in. She nodded to a guard and he hit Abby in the back of the head with the pommel of his sword.

"Kane, Octavia, Lincoln, Monty" she addressed them, "we will save you the pain and leave you conscious because you didn't make a move in all of this." She made sure to look each one of them in the eyes. "But we do speak true when we say that Clarke is fine and not a prisoner, we will talk to her" she paused, "we will talk to her about returning or visiting the ark, we are also true to our words when we say we won't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do." Monty and Kane looked pleased, "please tell her that she is missed" the one to speak was Monty, "tell her that those who came down on the drop ship need her" he didn't want to say what's left of them, but she understood.

"How are the skaikru fairing after the mountain," she asked, "I'll repeat what you say to Clarke." She looked back between the few that were still conscious and met Octavia's glare. "I'm sorry for knocking your brother out, but it was the best course of action before he did something stupid. If he shot the commander, skaikru would cease to exist and your brother would die by 10,000 cuts." Octavia's glare lessened when she heard that. "Is there anything you want me to pass onto Clarke before you are escorted back to the ark?" She asked again and the four shared glances before looking back to her. "Abby went power crazy," Monty spoke and earned a glare from Kane before he interrupted, "power crazy is not an accurate description, she's just trying to make sure that everyone can live." Octavia and Monty shared a look, "by suppressing those that came down in the drop ship? By taking our freedom?" Octavia spat. 

"Everyone calm down," she spoke. She looked towards Monty, "tell me what has happened." She looked towards Kane, Octavia and Lincoln, "if you have anything to say, wait until he has finished talking." She looked towards Monty again, "start speaking."

"Once Clarke left things were good for a while, Abby was healing people and Kane was trying to expand and set up a perimeter, things were good. But after a few days things started going south, those that came down on the drop ship wanted to go back out of Arcadia, that's what we're calling the ark now, we were allowed to go out at first, but we started spending more and more time outside. That's when Abby became chancellor, she said that weren't allowed to leave anymore, said that it was too dangerous, that we were under threat of the grounders. After a few weeks some of us started to sneak out, those that were caught sneaking out were put in the skybox." He paused, "at one point all of us were in the skybox, that's when Abby decided being Imprisoned wasn't enough of a punishment. She started shock lashing those that were caught. Those that get out don't return, they have set up a camp back at the drop ship, there are only a few that stay at Arcadia now, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Jasper and I. Lincoln is free to go when he want, he stays for Octavia though."

"do any of you have anything to add or change to what has just been said?" Kane looked down, ashamed and Octavia and Lincoln just looked ahead. "We will tell this to Clarke. You will now be taken back to Arcadia." She spoke and gave Octavia and Lincoln their weapons and wrapped the guns in cloths before giving them to the trikru guards, "you will receive your guns once you are back at Arcadia." She nodded to them and watched the guards take them back to the bridge. She turned to face Lexa, "I need to go back," she said quietly, "if what Monty says is true then things need to be sorted out, I need to get those from the drop ship out if there." Lexa just looked at her then nodded, "but give it a few days Klark, we need a plan." She just agreed before turning on her heels and walking back to their house.


	6. Chapter -6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke goes to Arcadia and shit happens

The only sound that could be heard were the horses breathing and the sound of hooves hitting gravel. Her back was straight and her muscles were tense. She could feel Lexa staring holes into her back, Lexa was angry and concerned. She wasn't going back to Arcadia, as they called it now, because she wanted to. She was going back because she felt that that is what she needed to do.  From what Monty had told her someone needed to put Abby in her position and it seemed like only she could do it.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to do this, you can turn around now." Lexa was the one to break the silence.

"Leska, I don't want to do this and you know that," she spoke, "but if what Monty says is true then I have to go back and try to fix things."

The silence was back and just as awkward as it was before. It was a half a day horse ride between Arcadia and Polis which meant that if the hunting groups were so close to Polis they were either camping out in the woods or they had a mode of transport and considering they didn't find any horses or any skaikru transport, they only had to assume they were camping out in the forest while hunting.

The trees were thinning, a sign that they were close to their destination. Her breathing grew slightly labored and muscles she didn't even know she had tensed. Lexa picked up the change in her and grew worried. Lexa knew she wasn't ready but didn't force her to stay, and for that she was grateful, but Lexa had been less than encouraged about the idea.

"Leska, I'll be fine," she spoke, hoping to calm her wife and prepare her, "when Arcadia comes into view I think it would be best if I went in alone."

"No."

"Leska, please. When they last saw you we attacked them, if you come with me then they will assume that you are using me to hold an advantage over them. I know it has been a few days since they visited us, but just to be on the safe side." She begged her wife. She knew that if Lexa was present and something went wrong all blame would fall on her wife.

She heard Lexa groan, Lexa knew she was correct. The amount of trees was rapidly decreasing and the top of Alpha station was visible through the gaps in the canopy. Lexa gave the signal to stop.

"If you're going in alone this is where we part," Lexa spoke knowing there was nothing she could do now that Clarke had made up her mind.

"I'm sorry, Leska, but if you come and something goes wrong then you will most likely receive all the blame and I'm not even sure how most of them would react to seeing you." She didn't have to say the rest, Lexa understood that she was talking about the mountain.

"I understand Klark," was Lexa's only response, "I will have a few guards in the forest so if you need me just send a rider and I'll come as soon as I can."

She moved her horse so she and Lexa were next to each other and she leaned over and pushed her Lips to Lexa's. The kiss soon became passionate as Lexa's arms hooked around the base of her neck and pulled her in closer. She pushed her tongue to the front of her mouth and earned a slight groan. Her tongue slipped in and started exploring the cave she had explored hundreds of times already. She pulled back when she remembered where she was and saw that all the guards were avoiding looking at her.

"Well, I better be off before I change my mind." She leaned in to give Lexa a hug.

"If things get to hard send a guard for me"

"Please Leska," she tried, "we both know that it would be faster if I ran back." it was true, she could probably make it back to Polis quicker by running than by riding.

"We all know that Klark."

She gave lexa another hug before she turned her horse around started towards Arcadia, she could hear Lexa giving orders tot the guards, half were to stay in the forest and half were to accompany her back. It made her smile but it quickly faded from her face as she remembered what she was doing. In a sense this could be suicide, this could break her again and maybe this time she'll be to damaged to be repaired, and that thought scared her. She managed to keep herself by having someone care for her while keeping their space and giving her freedom. Arcadia wouldn't do the same. They would keep her safe by keeping her as close as possible, doing constant tests and never letting her go. Not to mention that this was guaranteed to bring sine unwanted memories to surface.

The ride was slow and mentally consuming and it only got worse the closer she got. When she finally left the forest and entered the clearing her heart beat increased. She heard the shouts of the guards telling her to stop. Of course they didn't recognize her, It had been a year and a half, and the hood defiantly wasn't a help.

"Stop or we will have to shoot." a guard called called out to her and so she did. She stopped and dismounted but continued to walk towards the gate. A warning shot was fired and it hit the ground in front of her. She slowed her walk but didn't stop and raised a hand to her hood and slowly pulled it back revealing her golden hair the glowed in the sun.

"Clarke?" A guard shouted and lowered his gun, "Is that you Clarke?" The hum of people going about their live behind the gate stopped and the field became eerily quite. She didn't stop and continued towards the gate.

"Someone get the chancellor!" Another guard shouted and opened the gate. The metallic movement made a high pitch whine, one that probably only she could hear. She stopped just short of the opening gate and one by one more skaikru entered her vision, some were children that she had never seen before, probably gathered from other fallen stations, some were elderly.

The people she feared most were still nowhere to be seen. The gate continued to open and her fear only grew as the gate continued to open. When the gate was fully open when she saw them. Caught glimpses of them actually. They were shoving themselves through the crowd.

"Clarke!" The first to break through was Bellamy. He broke through the crowd and ran to her. "I've missed you so much" he didn't say anymore before she was pulled into a bear hug. He put his head to her neck and just whispered words about how much she was missed.

"Think you could pass her around." The next words came from Octavia and they made her cringe, they almost insinuated that she was a possession. Bellamy put her down and she turned to face Octavia.

"Hey O" was all she managed to get out before she was pulled into another hug only this one was a lot more careful as if she would break if to much force was applied. "It's good to see you again."

"You too." There was a moment of silence before the rest of the group had formed around her.

"Hey." she said as she pulled out of Octavia's hug and look at them all but her gaze settled upon her mother, "Hey mum." Her mother didn't say anything but instead she started back in disbelieve. She saw sadness and an overwhelming amount of relief, but what confused her most was that she saw anger. Her mother ran at her and enveloped her in a hug. She could feel her mother's tears on her neck.

"I'm back"

"Let's get you inside, you can talk to your friends there," Her mother said once she ended the hug, "and let's give you a medical check up."

"Mum, you're not giving me a medical check up." Her mother gave her a look of anger and disbelieve.

"You are my daughter and you will do as your told."

"You're not giving me a medical check." she held her ground. Her mother's anger held nothing against her. She had been through and survived worse, and she didn't want these people to know about those times.

"Clarke!" her mother exclaimed, "You will do as your told." She decided she wasn't going to get through to Abby so she gave up and walked past her to Marcus Kane.

"Hey." She said as she held her hound out to greet him.

"Hey." Was all he responded as he looked over her shoulder to a fuming Abby. She pulled him in close and whisper so only he could hear.

"The Kwin told me about the situation here, I'm only here to fix the problem then I want to get out of here as quickly as possible." She could feel Marcus tense at what he just heard.

"Abby isn't going to let you go just like that, she's already mad that your going against her."

"which is why I want to get away as soon as possible." Marcus relaxed a little once their little conversation ended and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm glad you decided to visit us on your journey." She could tell that he had picked his words carefully but in that he also said that she wouldn't be here forever. He looked over her shoulder and saw Abby glaring at him.

"Marcus, Clarke just came back **home** , she'll be staying."

Everyone could feel the tension in the air as if it was physically strangling them. She looked over at her shoulder and glared at her mother.

"I will not be staying permanently, I have things I need to do in places that aren't here." she was growing more and more frustrated with her mother.

"Clarke Griffin, you will be staying here, I won’t let those savages," she said the word like it could cause death by listening to it, "control you anymore." She could feel it starting somewhere in her stomach, what it was she didn't know.

"They aren't savages Abby." she avoided using the word mother and that just seemed to be the right thing to do.

"They kept you prisoner for a year and a half, they would have kept you longer if we didn't confront them." Abby was almost yelling, "They are a bunch of egoistical bastards that follow a child and none of them deserved to survive the bombs!" The feeling inside her stomach grew and came rippling out of body in the form of a growl. It was deep and terrifying. She could see Abby advisably flinch and take a step back.

"Look at what they've done to you!" Abby was practically screaming at this stage, "they're turning you into a monster!"

The growl grew deeper and louder in volume. Lincoln just started at her, he could feel the air physically vibrate around him and the source of it was her growl. The growl continued to grow as she stalked towards her mother.

"And you didn't deserve to survival the fall to the earth." Her voice blended in with the growl and in the corner of her eyes she could spot more than one pair of pants with a dark patch. Abby flinched at her words. "So if you don't mind, I have friends that I would like to catch up with." she turned on her heels and walked towards her friends giving them a silent nod to follow her and she walked through the crowd, people moving out of her way like she was death itself and speaking technically, she was Wanheda.

She kept walking until she came across one of the many campfires and decided that she would very much like to sit. It wasn't long until her friends joined her and they all stared into the fire, no one sure about what to say.

"so you learned, to, uhh, growl?" Raven was the first to break the silence.

"Nope, the growl just kinda happened." The silence set back in and when it became obvious that her friends weren't going to speak first she decided that it was going to have to be her. "The Kwin told me about the situation involving the 100 and Abby," She paused and looked towards her friends, "is it true?"

None of them looked up from the fire but a few gave small nods. She let out a sigh, “I knew she would get power hungry at one point but to think it happened like this.” She shook her head, “The sooner this is over the quicker I can get out of here.” She mumbled to herself and a few of her friends looked up at her.

“What do you mean?” Bellamy asked, “You just got here and you’re already planning on leaving?” he was slightly distraught.

“I never wanted to come back, at least not now,” she looked up from the fire and met several gazes. Some of them were filled with anger, some with sadness and others were trying to settle on an emotion. “I’m still fucked in the head, and I’m not sure if being here is going to do me any good or just undo the little progress I’ve made.”

“when you say progress what do you mean?” Monty finally spoke up.

“Well, I, ahh, average about one panic attack fortnight.” She looked at Monty and saw concern on his face, the same went for the others that sat down with them.

“That’s pretty bad.” Bellamy whispered.

“Hardly. One panic attack a fortnight is pretty good. When I first left I was averaging about two to three panic attacks a day.” She spoke as if it mattered nothing but the concern on everyone’s face only grew. “heads up in case being here reverses the progress I’ve made.”

Everyone just looked at her. They had all worried about how the mountain had affected her but none thought it would be that bad.

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy whispered and gave her a hug, “I should have been there with you.” Everyone just nodded in agreement.

“I don’t mean to pry,” Raven began but Octavia gave her a glare, “okay, I do mean to pry, but what happened that you don’t want Abby to perform a medical check-up?” Raven’s voice filled with curiosity, not looking for blackmail.

“Can you guys promise to not tell a soul?” She gave everyone a look and they all nodded one by one as they made eye contact. “When I was in the forest some…” she trailed off, trying to not remember what had happened to her, “stuff happened and I got a few scars that would send Abby over the edge but that’s not the worst of it.” She looked at the group and they were all eagerly waiting for her to continue. “I somehow made it to Polis,” She heard Octavia take in a quick breath, “I trained as a warrior there, I thought that maybe I could use it as a form of physical therapy, and it worked, however, I soon became accepted as a proper trikru warrior.” She took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m sure all of you have heard about the kill mark custom, right?” she heard a few of them gasp as they realised what she was saying, but she looked up and saw a few faces of confusion so she continued, “I’ve killed people in duels and battles and I’ve had their kill branded on my back.”

The moment of realisation on the last few people soon had everyone looking back at the fire.

“so how many marks do you have?” This time it was Lincoln who was curious.

“more than any normal grounder should have, enough to make people fear me.” She paused, “enough to live up to my title.” Lincoln knew she didn’t want to give an answer, but a few others weren’t so attuned to that message.

“Come on, give us a number.” Raven question once again.

“How about this, Raven,” she looked into the girls eyes, “enough that I no longer have a back.” She looked back into the fire and the group fell silent at what she had just revealed. “Now please keep your promises, if Abby found out then I don’t know how she’ll react.” The silence between the group just grew even more.

“Monty, do you have any moonshine?” Bellamy questioned his friend trying to break the tension and received a small nod before Monty stood and left. He was back a few moments later with some cups pulling a barrel behind him.

“It’s been sitting for a year, I made it to celebrate Clarke’s return, if she returned.” Monty had trouble picking the barrel up so she stood and walked over to him.

“where do you want it?” She asked as she stood over the barrel. Monty pointed to a small table besides the fire. Bellamy stood to help her.

“I got this Bell, I disappeared for a year and a half. The least I can do is move a barrel.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I can barely lift a half full barrel and that’s a full one.” She grabbed the overhang of the barrel.

“Monty?” She question him to get his attention, “does it matter if it gets a little shaken?” Monty shook his head in a disagreement, “good.” She yanked the barrel up but the rim so it flew a few meter’s into the air. She didn’t expect it to go that high, she thought it would have been heavier according to what Bellamy had told her. As it came back down she positioned herself to catch it with both hands, bending her elbows hoping to giver the barrel a bit of give so it didn’t crack. Luckily it didn’t but it did nearly hit her face, she put the barrel under one arm and walked over to the table before plonking it down. She turned to startled faces, filled with awe.

“I didn’t mean to throw it that high, I thought it would be heavier according to what Bell told me.”

“That was awesome” could be heard leaving Raven’s mouth.

“So who wants a drink?” Bellamy chimed in and grabbed the cups from Monty’s hand and started to fill them up and passing them around. The group seemed to calm down after a few drinks.

“Montii, I shh,ould take you to Polissss,” she spoke under the influence of the moonshine, “I could helpppp yoooou set up yourrr own brewwwwery.” Monty looked at her, “Nou,” she spoke again, “yyouu wills set uppp a bre, wery therrre. Polissss doessssn’t have any strong drinksss, just gooooood tassstiiinng stuffff, nots the stuuffff that burnsss.” Monty gave her a look of excitement. The group continued to drink into the night and giggling could be heard all night long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, sorry about the lack of updates recently but school has picked up so now i have a total of three days to write if i dont do any homework or assignments.
> 
> And for those of you asking, "This is rated 'M' but he's using 'PG' language, what the hell?" I do plan on writing smut chapter its just that I'm not used to writing them and they dont come out how they are supposed to, I'm working on it and there should be a smut chapter up within the next few updates but please hold on until then!


	7. Chapter -7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit starts to hit the fan

She awoke to the sun high in the sky with a pounding in her head. Her head on Monty’s lap and a little too close to his junk for her liking. Raven had her head resting on her shoulder and had her legs wrapped around her left one. Bellamy was pulling on her right arms as he tried to cuddle it. O had her head on her right thigh but was cuddling Lincoln.

“Argg, how much did we drink last night?” She heard Monty groan.

“Way too much.” Bellamy responded but didn’t bother letting go of her arm. She let out a small chuckle.

“I haven’t drunk like that since I left,” she spoke and remembered what she said to Monty, “I was being serious when I said you should build a brewery in Polis.”

“Really? I mean, what? How?” Monty questioned.

“I think I could pull a few string, Polis doesn’t have any strong drinks. They just drink in large quantities.” She managed to get out, the thumping in her head only getting worse. “I think you could even get a few apprentices.” Monty grinned at the prospect.

“So now you’re taking us with you?” Octavia stirred.

“Hopefully” she responded, “If Abby doesn’t try to interfere.” She grimaced at the prospect of the fight that she would put up, she would undoubtedly put up. Worst case scenario she would have to kill someone.

“Am I invited?” Raven asked and moved her head to look up at her, if it was just them laying down people would defiantly assume they were lovers.

“Did you really think I could leave my beloved Raven behind?” She teased and a smirk appeared on Raven’s face.

“No.” Raven responded and tucked her head back in. No one wanting to move away from the comfort of the other or having to get up and face the reality of their hangover and jobs. They all laid like that besides the smouldering fire with the occasional groan but they were content.

“I think we should get up and find some water.” The one to speak was the ever logical Lincoln, not understanding why they would just lay there letting their hangover get the better of them.

“Shh, Lincoln,” Octavia whispered, “just let it happen.”

“No, I think he’s right,” she spoke and earned a few groans, “I don’t want to be hung over when I have to deal with Abby.” She tried to get up only to have them all push her back down. “Guys, seriously?” She giggled and Octavia soon started giggling and was soon followed Raven and Monty, they were a giggling mess on the floor. Bellamy just groaned.

“Just go back to sleep guys.” He tugged her arm a bit more trying to get it into the right position. They all just giggled that little bit harder and Lincoln just gave them all a look, the kind you give to a weirdo in an ally. Octavia just laughed harder.

“Guys,” she finally got out, “I really don’t want to have to deal with Abby while I’m hungover.” She received a few groans but they let her get up. The thumping in her head only got worse when she stood up. Her first step was a disaster as she tripped over Monty, she was back on the floor and both were groaning while the rest were trying to still their laughter.

“Can’t we just send someone to fetch the water?” She groaned and stayed on the floor, not risking standing up again.

“Why would anyone do that?” Bellamy replied, “we’re not anyone important?”

“What if Clarke was to ask while doing the growling thing?” Raven piped in with another one of her brilliant ideas.

“Only I don’t know how I growled, it just kind of happened? We went through this last night.” She groaned again at the thought of last night. The others seemed to understand and the idea was quickly dropped. “who drunk the least last night?” She asked after everyone fell silent again.

“Lincoln.” The rest of the group said almost instantly and a few giggles broke out again.

“What are you guys doing? It’s well into midday and your all tangled on the floor.” Marcus said as he approached.

“Marcus!” Raven shouted. “We had a bit too much to drink last night and we’re trying to figure out who’s getting the water.” Raven was explaining the situation then sent a glance at her. “It’s not Clarke cause she’s already tried. Tripped over Monty before taking a second step.” Marcus let out a small laugh then sighed.

“I’ll bring you guys a few litres of water and excuse you of your jobs today.” The group let out a cheer, startling the people that were walking around them.

“We should get drunk every night” Octavia chimed in.

“Not happening.” Marcus instantly refuted Octavia’s plan, “this is so you guys can show Clarke around, or else you’ll be doing your shift while hungover.” Marcus left the group to fetch the water.

“Clarke you should disappear and return more” Octavia changed her plan. Bellamy punched her. Marcus returned to find that the heap of bodies were even more tangled than when he left, he released a sigh.

“Here’s some water and a few painkillers.” Marcus put the water and painkillers where the barrel was supposed to be, she noticed it was laying sideways in a wet patch of dirt, someone probably knocked it over. “And Clarke, I suggest you talk to your mother sometime today. The rest of you, I expect you show Clarke around.” Marcus turned around and walked into the ark.

“So, what are we showing you first?” Bellamy spoke, although it seemed like it was a question he undoubtedly already knew where they were going first. “I’m thinking the bar.” He laughed at the scowls he received and Raven punched him in the arm. “Okay, okay, chill.”

Lincoln stood and slowly made his way to the table, nearly tripping twice and accidentally stood on Bellamy’s thigh. He grabbed the cups and started filling them with water and passed them around.

“Thanks Linc.” She said as she was passed a cup, the others were sitting up on the logs around the fire. He helped her get onto a log and sat beside her.

“Glad you’re back.” He said and pulled her into a hug and whispered into her ear. She eased into the hug.

“Thanks Linc.” She said again. He pulled out of the hug and gave her a small pat on the back. “How about we show you the agricultural side of things first?” He looked towards the group and they gave small nods of agreement.

“I’m in charge of that.” Monty declared and puffed his chest out, “It’s mostly vegetables though.” His chest deflated and a grimace crossed most of their faces.

“I’m going to assume that that face means that hunting isn’t going so well?” She questioned and god a few nods. “Why is hunting not going well? You have guns and a large group of people available, right?”

“We hunt but we never come across any animals, okay, we come across the occasional deer but that’s maybe around once a week and Abby never lets more than a few people out the gates at any one time.” Bellamy responded, “Octavia and Lincoln are currently our two largest providers of meat with about a deer each every few days but the rest of us are not being any help at all.”

“Next time you go out on a hunt I’m coming along.” She said. “Abby can try to stop me if she can but you guys need the extra meat.” Octavia and Lincoln looked at her and a smile graced their faces.

“How well can you hunt?” Octavia began and giggled thinking that Clarke might be a warrior but she doubted her hunting skills.

“Enough to feed twelve people with a day’s catch.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Nope.” She paused before it hit her. “You thought I was just being trained as a warrior like you were with Indra. Sorry to disappoint, but normally you would be trained to hunt before you were trained to fight, you were an exception because of the battle of the mountain looming over your training.” She laughed at the look of horror that settled on Octavia’s face.

“So before you go on a hunt and possibly start a civil war against your mother in the process, let’s show you the agriculture.” Raven chimed in with a sarcastic comment.

“As soon as I get my bearings back we’ll depart, how does that sound?” She spoke and got a few nods, “good cause I’ve already got them back.” She stood up and started to walk in a direction. “You guys coming?”

“Wrong way princess!” Bellamy laughed.

“I’m taking the scenic route!” She yelled back at him.

“You’re still going the wrong way!” Bellamy laughed harder as she pouted at him, the others were giggling again.

“Fine…” She moaned and Bellamy just laughed harder if that was even possible. “Lead the way asshole.”

“Whatever you say princess.” Bellamy muttered after he had calmed down. He helps Monty up and starts towards the agriculture area, they all had a little wobble in their step. She speed up to catch them.

“How are you fine?” Monty groans, still suffering from his hangover.

“I have no idea besides having a super power of hangover recovery.” She joked and got another groan from Monty. She had missed her friends while she was away. On the way there her friends had pointed out several buildings that were of importance. They had built a proper hospital, guards hut, radio beacon and several defence towers. The defence towers were strategically placed so that they covered the other towers blind spots. The guards hut was basically a building filled with weapons a coffee machine that Raven had built. The hospital was basically built so that it was easier to get to rather than running through the winding path of the ark.

“And this is the green house.” Monty stood up off Bellamy and started towards the door, “designed and run by me.” He puffed out his chest again, “and there is a little area in the back that only a few people know about.” He grinned and she knew what plant he was growing back there. A small laugh escaped her.

“Those plants your growing back there, if I’m thinking of the same plant can be found growing in the parks in Polis.” Her laugh grew as she saw the look of disbelieve at her words. “It’s true. How do you think I spend my days off?” Monty grinned at the idea.

“I’m defiantly going back with you to Polis.” Monty was grinning, “mine are special though. They’re concentrated.” She laughed at the pride in his eyes. “Shh, it’s still not allowed here though.” He looked around to make sure that no one had heard their conversation then turned to Bellamy, “you can’t tell anyone Bell.” Bell looked horrified.

“After keeping it a secret from me?” He crossed his arms and stared at Monty in fake disbelieve. “Only if you give me some.” Monty grinned.

“Any plans for tonight?” Monty asked the group in general but looked at her and Bellamy.

“No, Marcus got rid of our jobs for the day, remember?” Bellamy spoke and then turned his gaze towards her.

“That depends on whether or not Abby plans on chewing me out.” She stated matter-of-factly, “but even if she does I’ll just leave.” She paused, “don’t worry Monty, I’ll make sure I’m not being followed.”

“So meet here about an hour after sun down?” Monty turned to Raven, “want to join us?”

“Sure, the real question is whether Lincoln and Octavia free their very busy and heated night to join us.” Raven spoke, her practically dripping with sarcasm. Octavia blushed, which was a rare sight according to the startled reactions of everyone at seeing a red Octavia.

“We’ll be there. Raven, think you can stop the fence for a bit so we can spend the night on the outside?” She liked where this was going.

“I’ll see what I can do, but bring a jumper and wear rubber soled shoes.”

“Everyone got that?” Monty spoke again, “an hour after sun down meet here and bring a jumper,” Monty looked at her, “Clarke, is you alright clothes wise?”

“I could do with some rubber soled shoes, but other than that I should be fine.” She looked at the group, “god have I missed your antics.” A small smile creeps up on everyone’s faces. “So where to next?”

“The house.” Raven said and received a bunch of nods. “The house,” Raven starts explaining, “was a compromise, instead of running away we got a large house that can bunker all six of us, Jasper is rarely there, spends most of his time drunk and wondering around. I don’t think he’s made any progress and frankly it’s pissing all of us off.” There were a few looks of sorrow in the group but it quickly wore off.

“Let’s show me then.” She wanted to see this house. They lead her through some back allies, they had done some serious expansion while she was away. They come a stop in front of one of the few brick houses she had seen. They were right, it was a large house, small than what she was living in back in Polis but about thrice as large as the neighbouring houses.

“Wow” She said as she looked at the house. It was made up of a variety of coloured bricks and was complete with glass windows and a tiled roof. “Looks like you guys live in luxury,” She looked towards them and saw the pride smile plastered on their faces.

“Come on, the inside is better, all the bedrooms are on the bottom floor, games room is on the second floor and we have a tree in the back.” Raven grabbed her wrist and started pulling her to the door. She opened it and practically ran into Jasper. They all halted in their tracks, no one was expecting him to be there.

“So you bring a murder into our house.” Jasper sounded everything but thrilled.

“I’m sorry Jasper, I really am, but I had no choice.” Her voice was flat and void of any emotion, something that Lexa had taught her.

“You don’t even sound sorry.” He spat back, “you killed the girl I loved and then you leave and come back and everyone just accepts you!” He yelled and shoved a finger in her chest.

“I did what I had to Jasper, they were drilling into Raven and I couldn’t wait for you to go after Cage when it wasn’t certain how long it would take.” Her voice didn’t betray her but had turned cold.

“You’re a god damn murder Clarke.” Jasper spat and pushed her but she didn’t budge. Jasper was growing more irritated, he raised his fist to punch her and swung it towards her face as hard as he could and was satisfied when he heard a loud thud.

“Is that all you have?” She question him, taunting him, giving him a reason to fear her. Jasper looked up to see his fist in the palm of Clarke’s hand, she had caught his fist.

“H-how?” he looked at her, she saw the fear in his eyes, she had won.

“Easy, while you spent your time moping and being sorry for yourself I trained and survived. You’re weak Jasper, both physically and mentally. Now you can either continue to grow weaker or you can become strong and move forward.” She let go of Jasper’s hand and he muttered something before he shoved them aside and stormed out the door and down the street.

“So who has the honour of giving me the tour?” She asked mostly to bring them back from their train of thoughts.

“Sorry, we didn’t expect him to be here.” Octavia apologised.

“Don’t be, I did kill the girl he loved, but he should have also moved on by now.” Her voice was no longer cold and it held a little bit of remorse. “And now he might do something else besides mope around.” She saw the features of her friends flicker at what she had done, she had motivated him, hopefully.

“I’m still giving the tour.” Raven chirped and grabbed her wrist again and dragged her down the hall pointing to the doors and telling her who lived in them. Lincoln’s room was turned into a spare room as he had long since moved his stuff into Octavia’s room.

“And this is the kitchen,” Raven said enthusiastically, “the fridge, oven and toaster were all re-invented by me.” Raven boasted at the fact that she was a genius and that she was.

“Is that why you showed me the kitchen first?” She asked.

“No,” Raven responded, “I brought you here cause it has almost all the food in the house.”

“Almost?”

“Raven has a mini fridge in her room that is filled with her favourites.” Octavia got in before Raven could respond. Raven gave a smirk.

“Don’t even bother asking, you’re not getting anything from it even if you just returned from a life or death battle.” Raven’s smirk grew at Octavia’s accusation.

“It’s true.” Raven agreed. “You might get some if it’s the only thing that will save your life, but no guarantees.” She laughed, she had seriously missed Raven and her witty comments the most. There was something comforting in knowing that no matter what was happening you could always fall back to Raven for a witty comment.

“Well, I’ve seen where I’m sleeping now time to face the Arcadia demon.” She said and a small chuckle erupted from Lincoln.

“And that is exactly what Abby is, but she is nothing compared to Heda she is nothing worth even the smallest bit of fear.” Lincoln stated and she just nodded her head.

“So who wants the privilege of taking me to the biggest stupid argument in history?” She questioned and everyone averted her gaze. She settled on Octavia, “come on O, you have been nominated.” Octavia lets out a small groan.

“This way princess.” Octavia grumbled as she sulked out the front door. “Abby is most likely in the hospital.” It didn’t go unnoticed that her friends called her Abby rather than her mother and she appreciated it, it would make things easier. If everyone called Abby her mother it would put some kind of burden on her mentally. A burden is a burden no matter how small.

“Thanks O,” She said, “for everything.”

“I have done nothing to deserve your thanks, probably the very opposite.” Octavia responded.

“Not true,” she spoke quietly, “even after Tondisi, even when you hated my guts, you still didn’t give up on me.” Octavia didn’t respond, most likely not knowing how to respond.

“I didn’t give up on Bellamy.” Octavia finally spoke, it was a confession and not one that was easy to confess. “I’ve gotten over it now,” Octavia’s voice was hushed, “I understood why you did it, and why you left. You didn’t want to hate us.” Octavia paused to consider what to say next, “you were told how we started to leave for longer and longer periods of time right?”

“yeah?” It came out more of a question than a statement.

“We were leaving for longer periods of time because we hated being here, we hated the people here, the ones that weren’t held in the mountain.” Octavia’s eyes were turning glossy, “we hated them because they could continue living their lives as if nothing happened. They could live in peace because of what we did and what happened to us. We hated them because they could smile, we hated them for so many different reasons. There were many fights between us and those that stayed here in the false safety of the walls.” Octavia looked up from the ground and turned to face her. “We hated you for leaving us.” Octavia took a deep breath, “that hate didn’t last long, Bell stood up to protect you, saying that you had given up more than we could have imagined, some fought him and others challenged him, but there was this one question that stopped all that, one question that shut everyone up.” Octavia stopped walking and looked her straight in the eyes, “Do you know what that question was?”

“No.” She responded honestly.

“’What has she given up that we haven’t, she wasn’t held captive like us, she bailed. So what has she given up that we haven’t already lost?’ The question was shouted and no knows who shouted it but do you know what his response was Clarke? Without a moment of hesitation he responded with ‘her humanity’ everyone went quite at his words and he spoke again, ‘look at us, we’re fighting for freedom, we have emotions, we have a passion and a reason to live’ Bellamy argued for you and the face he made when he said the last few words were heart breaking, ‘she doesn’t’ that’s what he said. He stood up for you, Clarke, he explained that now that we’re safe you no longer had a reason to fight and that what you did was weighing on you and that it had broken you.” Octavia let go of her arm, which she had grabbed while talking, “he made us think about it, think about the privileged girl you used to be and the person you became when you took down the mountain, how many times you had bled for us, how much you gave to save us.” Octavia fell quite after her speech and an awkward silence settled in between them, “let’s go find Abby.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.” They walked in silence until they reached the hospital. Octavia walked through the flaps meant to be the front door, it allowed the breeze in but allowed for weak patients to easily push them aside to get in or out. They walked until Octavia stopped in front of what looked to be a reception desk from the books about the old. Octavia leaned over and hit a small silver object and a chime sounded throughout the room they were in. There were a few moments of awkward silence before a young woman wearing a blue apron and face mask appeared. The woman removed the face mask.

“What are you here for?” The tone of her voice was slightly deep but smooth and was laced with concern.

“She’s looking for Abby.” Octavia spoke before she could.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Clarke would you?” The woman spoke, curiosity and excitement filled her brown, almost caramel eyes.

“That would be me.” Her voice wavered a bit but only enough that trained ears could pick it up. Those trained ears being hers and Octavia’s.

“She is currently tending to a patient, I’ll go and tell her you are here.” The woman put the face mask on again and scurried back out of view. The silence that came between her and Octavia was deafening.

“Thank you for telling me.” She finally couldn’t handle the silence, not even the silence between the twelve clan leaders was this bad.

“I just thought that you should know what he did for you.” Octavia’s voice was flat but she could hear a little bit of relief and sadness in it. The silence settled in again but it was more comfortable, but it wasn’t there for long until Abby came barrelling into the room.

“Clarke!” Abby exclaimed and ran into her daughter, Abby’s arms wrapping around her and pulling tight, almost as if Abby was afraid that she would disappear if she did let go. “I’m so glad your back.” Abby talks as if their quarrel last night never happened.

“Abby, is it okay if we talk in private, there are a few things we need to talk about.” She commands more than asks and she can see Octavia give her a nod in approval about it.

“Sure.” Abby agrees more than readily and sets off to find an empty hospital room. She finds it on the second floor near the back, there are two beds with a curtain separating them, each side has the same medical equipment. Abby moves the curtain back so the once divided room is now one whole room before she turns around and closes the door. Abby sits on one bed and Clarke moves to sit on the bed opposite her.

“Where are the rest of my people?” Clarke asks and all she gets is a look of confusion.

“What do you mean your peo--” Abby starts.

“The kids that came down on the drop ship.” She interrupts Abby, “I haven’t seen one besides the five of them living in that house.” Abby is silent and is looking at anything but her. “Where are my people.” It’s not a question but another statement that can be responded too. Abby keeps her silence. “Are they in the sky box?” She asks and when she see’s something pass over Abby’s face she knows she’s heading in the right direction. “Not all of them are in the sky box, only a few actually.” She wonders out loud purposefully trying to get an answer from Abby.

“They are not your people anymore Clarke,” Abby spoke, “we’ve come down, the council is set up again, you don’t have to worry about them anymore, you are a free person now.”

“They are my people and I always have to look after them.” She refuted Abby.

“Clarke, they are under my jurisdiction now that we’re here on the ground and have set up the council.” Abby was adamant that the 100 weren’t her people.

“They are not under your jurisdiction, Abby, they stopped being that the moment you sent them along with me down to the earth to die.” Her voice was hard and cold, it gave away none of the anger that was burning deep inside of her.

“Clarke!” Abby exclaimed, “we did not send you down here to die! We gave you a second chance.” Abby’s voice calmed down the more she spoke.

“A second change where more than half of us die and the remainder were either tortured or are now a murderer, what an amazing second chance to force upon us.” Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

“Clarke, I am your mother and I refuse to be treated this way!” Abby snapped, “you will do as your told, you have finally come home and I will not tolerate this behaviour!”

“Tolerate it.” She said calmly, her mother’s anger used to scare her, but after what she’s been through it’s barely worth a spare thought.

“Clarke! How dar--”

“Where are they?” She spoke with the commander voice that Lexa had taught her. “Where are they Abigail? Where are the kids that came down on the drop ship.” Abby was shocked, her daughter had never called her Abigail before, she was scared, the girl before her was not Clarke but a monster created by the grounders.

“Who are you?” Abby asked while fearing the answer, “you’re not my daughter.”

“I am Clarke Griffin, your biological daughter.” She stated, she needed Abby to think that she was her daughter but she didn’t want to admit that she wasn’t her daughter anymore.

“What did they do to you? Why are you being so stubborn? Why can’t you just celebrate being back home in Arcadia?” Abby spoke, her voice full of distraught.

Because this isn’t home she thought. “I just want to speak with the kids that came down on the drop ship with me.”

“You will listen to me Clarke.” Abby was refusing to tell her where they were, “you are free of your burden to the drop ship kids.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not god damn free of this role, at least not until you start treating them right.”

“I am treating them fairly they just keep breaking the rules so as chancellor I have to punish them.”

“They are fighting for their freedom, and you are imposing laws that take that freedom away. Of course their going to break the laws and fight back.”

“They took you Clarke, and they have changed you. I can’t let that happen to anyone else!” Abby was trying desperately to defend herself.

“You and the council floated dad, I didn’t you see outlawing the council.” Her voice was still smooth and flat but her mind was in turmoil. Abby was just using her as an excuse, is that all she was to her? Was she just something she could use if things went bad?\

“I wasn’t the chancellor then and I wouldn’t be able to even if I was!” Abby burst. Bringing up her father was the correct move after all.

“You still didn’t do anything after you lost him though. All you did was mourn but you were fine after a week, so what? Was dad not that important? Am I worth more than dad?” Her voice was harsh and cold, no longer neutral.

“I couldn’t lose you to.” Abby’s eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

“So you take out your anger and frustration on the expendable kids that you have already made to suffer? You think I would return happily if I found out how you were treating my people? Where are they?” Her voice was growing colder with every word she spoke. “If you don’t tell me expect me to never return.”

“I am your mother and I forbid you from leaving!” Abby shouted.

“What’s stopping me? Your position as my mother? Think again.”

“Clarke Griffin! That is enough of this behaviour,” Abby’s voice was quieter but it was still louder than normal.

“Same goes to you.” She said as she stood up and walked to the door.

“If you have any respect towards me as your mother you will stop right there.” The tears were flowing down Abby’s cheeks as she spoke.

“Then I better leave quickly.” She responds before stepping out into the corridor and closing the door behind her. She made her way down the corridor ignoring everyone looking at her, she knew they heard Abby shouting. Octavia was still in the reception room waiting for her, she muttered her thanks before she walked out the front. She looked at the sky and saw she still had a few hours before the planned ‘party’.

She made her way to the gate and saw Bellamy on duty.

“Weren’t you supposed to get the day off?” She called up to him.

“Marcus caught me sleeping under a tree and decided if I wasn’t showing you around the least I could do was do a shift, don’t worry, I told him we planned to throw you another small celebration so I don’t have a night shift.”

“Looks like we’re still on for tonight then. Can you open the gate for a bit? I just… Talked with Abby and I need to clear my head.” She let a small bit of emotion in her voice.

“Sure thing princess.” A few moments later the gate opened and she started walking towards it but was stopped in her tracks when she heard a voice scream from behind her.

“What are you doing?! Close the gates and stop her!” Abby screamed at the guards in the tower. The gate stopped but it didn’t start to close. She looked and saw Bellamy had picked a fight with the guard the was going to close it. The guards, minus Bellamy and the guard he was fighting, came down from the watch towers and a group came from within the crowd that was watching.

“You don’t want to do this,” She warned both Abby and the guards, “you don’t have to get hurt.” She had warned them now it was their fault if they got injured.

“Us, hurt? You’re surround by what? Seven of us?” A guard taunted.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She said and lowered her body close to the ground, she was practically at sitting height. A few of the guards looked down at her confused as to what she was going to do. She leapt forward and to the guards it probably looked like she disappeared. She leapt towards the guard that had taunted her. She shoved her foot into the ground stopping her in her tracks but used the momentum to spin and drive an elbow into the side of his temple. His head gave way before her momentum and she stuck out her leg and kicked the guard to his left in the chest hard enough that the sound of cracking ribs could be heard.

The guard that had taunted her now lay at her feet bleeding from the point of impact and the other was laying on his back a few feet away from where he was standing with multiple broken ribs.

“Anybody else want to try taking me on?” she turned around and spoke with a flat voice. She looked over to Abby and saw the shock evident on her face. “I suggest you pull them away and let me go on my walk. If you continue you won’t be able to get to these two before they die.” Her face remained neutral. “And if you don’t want to have more people in the hospital than necessary then required then I highly suggest that you reconsider your choice of trying to stop me.”

She turned and walked towards the half open gate, those in front of her moved out of the way while those behind her just looked at her in awe and fear. Once she was away from the Ark and in the forest she located the guards that stayed behind to watch over her.

“Send a messenger to Leska,” she ordered and the guards obeyed, “tell her I might adopted the kids that came down in the drop ship and hide them in trikru. They are being mistreated and abused despite everything they have done.” She told the guards her message and he set off, riding off into the distance. Once the messenger disappeared she began to walk the forest, visiting old landmarks she remembered such as the river and she decided to drop by the dropship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the love and support and for being patient with me.
> 
> Just thought I would let you know that I won't be able to post thursdays or fridays unless something has happened or its a holiday. Not being rude just my schedule wont allow it.
> 
> And do you have ideas where you want this to go? I mean I'm writing as I go, I have a rough plan but I can easily veer off of it and I would like to see where you think this is going or where you would like it to go.
> 
> And there should be a smut chapter around chapter 9 I think? So look forward to that. Well until the next chapter, Bye and have fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Kwin = queen (trikru edition)


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